The R word

I had another CT scan last week.  The tumor is still there, but is the same size it was 6 weeks ago.  Because the PET scan (which shows abnormal metabolic activity) was clean, the oncologist says we can reasonably assume that the “tumor” is just dead tissue at this point.  He expects that it will continue to decrease in size as my body gets rid of the dead cells.  I had two chemo cycles past the clean PET scan to “mop up” any stray cells, so now I am considered to be in remission – the wonderful “r” word.  Could it come back?  Yes, it could.  Because part of the tumor showed the characteristic genetic mutation of follicular lymphoma (a slow-growing, indolent type), a relapse would not be unexpected.  So I will have appointments with the oncologist every 3 months, and CT scans every 6 months for the next couple of years.  If it comes back, we’ll treat it again.

It doesn’t seem sufficient to just say “thank you” to everyone.  I am so grateful for each and every one of you.  I am grateful for your thoughts and prayers and help.  There were times during this process where I felt hopeless and abandoned and the comments left here were a source of comfort and hope.  I have only these two tiny words, but I offer them with the deepest humility and gratitude – thank you.